Saturday, January 10, 2015

Country Road - why it deserves to stay at the outlet

Just a few lovelies at the Birkenhead Point Country Road/Trenery Outlet today. 

It's mid January 2015. 

It was very busy and the cash registers were ringing. 

By the looks of these, Style into Action has no idea why.    

Pale colour, wide leg.
Not for reproductive types or petites.
Those D rings go along way
to adding bulk to your tummy too.

Chinos with many waist pleats & narrow ankles.
Fabulous for pears. Not. 

Top marks for a confused dress. 
And your body parts have to sit in the
right places inside the confused dress.
That's assuming you can
figure out what the right places are. 

The kicker is that neon limey yellow shade.
Flatters very few. Ambulance please. 

A stretch denim body con dress. In theory a good idea.
That's why there was only one left. 

I am white & I make things look bigger than they are.
I am boxy & oversize and I hide your shape &
make you look bigger than you are. 

Why dont you want to buy me? 

This one is wearable & timeless.
 That's why there was only one on the rack. 

Rows & rows of bias hem ruffle skater skirts.
Even if you have good legs, these will
make you look heavy in the hips faster than
you can say bias ruffle hem skater skirt. 

More bias hem ruffle skater skirts.
Even in black they can't sell them. 

The midi, with gathers at the waist, in white,
in a rayon which creases like nobody's business.

A well known Sydney blogger wore this.
How would this not sell, I ask? How indeed.

Take a basic white tee shirt & tart it up with
fluted petal sleeves to make a buck. 

Crimes against basics. 

Grandpa collar shirts with ruffles all over. In pink.
Who signed off this design? Oh dear.  

Oversize boyfriend jackets in the
softest least flattering fabric known to man.
You can hide under these. So can your figure. 

My favourite.
The oversize sweaters. In gold metallic & silver coated.
Something for every complexion.  

I didn't see these in the shop. Thankfully.
Soft bombers which round your shape.
With a drawstring around your tummy/hips. 
Lovin' all that roundness.
In a lary orange. Good oh.

The shapeless dresses. With rounded shoulders.
How could you not look fatter & shorter in this? 
That was the look we were going for, wasn't it? 

The interesting dresses. Which no one buys.
At left, the kaftan-y sleeves - guaranteed
to add bulk up top. 

At right, the shift which is armourised with quilting.

Could be a jacket or a coat. But it'll fit you,
your family & all your friends. At once.
Gotta love the oversize boxy trend. 

This one surprised me. Navy linen pinstriped trench.
I thought the finance geeks would be all over it.
It's a bit heavy, otherwise I'm stumped. 

A true treat. Not only oversize, but very soft.
Will cling to all your lumps & bumps &
show them off with pride. 

Let's assume we all love pink.
This is a shirt dress which is so fine it
shows everything underneath.

The batwing sleeves are a bonus - guaranteed
to make you look fatter & shorter.  

External shoulder pads on a chambray dress.
An elastic waist with a one in a million chance
of landing anywhere near your waist. 

Are we surprised there are quite a few of these in the photo? 

Zoran called from the 80s & wants his shirt back.
So much 80s structure for such a soft lame fabric. 

Silk tees with high necklines & oversize
raglan sleeves.
Design perfection. 

Lots of sweats in a boxy batwing sleeve.
Or is that a dolmain sleeve? 
Same thing, one bad weight loss concept. 

Racks of chunky sweaters in
wool blends but which look 100% acrylic.
Guaranteed to love the clearance sale. Always. 

Boxy shifts. Some even with
high rounded collars & rounded sleeves.
Otherwise just oversize with hem detail
to bring the eye downward.

If I hadn't seen it...

PS: You may have some of these items and they may flatter you. That's terrific. Please not that this post is general in nature and is discussing the majority not the exception.

Don't forget - if it's on the sale rack, it's because no one wants it.  

1 comment:

  1. Never a truer word was spoken - I think that CR has slipped a lot in recent years.
    Cindy F