Sunday, May 22, 2011

2011 Cannes - not do

Its official - I am obsessed with bad frocks and want to share the love.
So wanna see some bad Cannes frocks?
You sure?
Absolutely sure?
Even if they are violent attacks on your retinas - I promise!

OK - you asked for them.....

Adriana Karenbeu (Slovak model & actress)
Toilet roll holder frock

Look - no shoes! Lovely - not!

and the crimped hair...NO, NO, NO, NO.

Designer Agnes B - such lovely clothes for us, but for her....a BIG FAT NO.

Valeria Marini (Italian actress) - subscribing to the "less is more" sartorial ethos

Stephanie-Sigman - some weird version of Liz Hurley's safety pin dress? Who knows!
And looking like this, Who Cares!

Spanish actress Rossy de Palma and Spanish choreographer Blanca Li
Probably the hands down winners in Cannes do not frocks - but they DO look like they are in their element & taking the p*ss out of us!

Rachel McAdams on Monique Lhuillier
A disgrace for a festival like Cannes.

Ludivine Sagnier - could probably bear this if it wasnt for the belt from the $2 shop.

Emily Browning - cute girl, kinda cute dress, but what's with the Botoxed face for one so young?
Too sad! or maybe she's squinting but due to the Botox, we cant tell....either way, its a NO.
Oh & bad posture too! At least that one's easy to fix.

Morian Atias (Israeli actress) - need a wide angle lens to include the boobs in this dress & she's not even busty! Yes, go one - take another close look....she's on this list for a reason!

Aussie Mia Wasikowska - a wash out in Valentino

& here is the runway version (similar, not the same) which I think is gorgeous, not washed out & ethereal

deja vu - Mia Wasikowska - a wash out in Valentino

more deja vu - Mia Wasikowska - a wash out in Philosophy di Alberta Ferretti (& Fendi shoes)

How on earth can someone take 3 identical shade dresses to the same 10 day festival is beyond moi!

Mia Wasikowska - to show you she can do colour well, here in Roland Mouret...

Lynne Ramsay - director of We Need to talk About Kevin - in jeans - I dont care if they cost her $1,000 and they are super duper designer. They look scruffy & daggy & are not appropriate.

Go on - all you Gen Xers - argue with me on this! Go on!

Unknown lady - imagine going to the toilet or even fitting in the limo...its a hard life but someone's gotta do it....

another unknown - I wouldnt want my name plastered everywhere if I wore this either!

Lara Stone - super model in Calvin Klein
I do a happy dance when the super models get it all wrong - jealous? who? me? nahhhh!
Wrong length, weird foil fabric...Happy Dance!

Gulnara Karimova - WT? & look! Toilet paper stuck to her shoes!

Giovanna Battaglia - OK, sprung - I LOVE this! But I snuck it in knowing some of you wont.
This lady has serious fashion attitude. Gotta love double sided tape!

Georgette Eto (footballer Samual Eto's wife) - peek a boob!
Otherwise perfecto!

Gaia Repossi in Louis Vuitton AW 2011
Some sort of weird matador look? No.

Franca Sozzani - where is the style & grace? Certainly not here....droopy & sad...

Fan Bing Bing - Oscar de la Renta - maybe its the name I still cant get used to.
Others are raving about this - moi? Nope! makes her flat chested, pale & short waisted?
The dress is wearing her, not the other way round.

Again - great colour, but poufy corset makes her look fat & are those breasts? or ant hills?
Its Louis Vuitton.

And 2 reminders that this girl can rock it....Atelier Versace

& traditional....

Eva Herzigova - with wet look hair...yikes!

Courtney Love in her nightie & check out the sandals!

& with Chanel Couture



Clotilde-Hesme in Maison Martin Margiela
Honestly - you either "get" MMM or you dont.

In case you dont, these photos will reinforce that....both SS 2011, both ridiculous but ridiculously wonderful!

Charlotte Gainsborough - no, please dont do this to us.
You are French - you are supposed to be innately sad.

Charlotte Casiraghi - normally gets it right, here I am doubtful

Celine Durand...head to toe - there is nothing right with this....

And again - tarting up a Louis Vuitton AW 2011

which Leighton Meester managed to make look fabulous & fierce at the 2011 New York Met Ball.

and on the catwalk.....

Candice Boucher - industry awards party anyone?

Bryce Dallas in Reem Acra - lessons in how to look pregnant when you're not

Axelle-Laffont, comedian - yes I am certainly laughing.....

Anja Rubik - hmmm..

& again - looks like one of those feather dusters

Angela-Ismailos, director who needs directions to dress herself...

Until next time!

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